I recently came across a line in a movie that got me thinking. This character said, ‘people do not care how it works, as long as they understand the reason for it’. So I started a conversation with myself to understand why people need to have a reason for everything. In this me-to-me conversation, I then came to the conclusion that people need a reason so that they can have a sense of control.
And what exactly is control? Control is the ability to change a circumstance.
Now looking to the global situation that we find ourselves in, I started asking myself how much control we really have. What exactly do we have control over?
To answer this question, we would need to define a reason for this pandemic. But defining a reason for the global circumstances only leaves us with countless theories and sometimes endless frustrations. Most importantly, it leaves us with no instant resolve for our own immediate environment. Therefore to negate such frustrations, all we must really think about is where we are as individuals.
And how do we do this?
The truth is, we are all having the same experience, but we are not getting the same outcome.
What do I mean by this?
Whilst many of us are dealing with this situation as best as we can, some of us are experiencing the best of their world while some are experiencing the worst. This means that though there is a much greater reason for this global change, each of us have to define our own reason for our state of affairs. Defining your own reason for this change speaks to your specific individual circumstances, and helps you outline your specific gains and equally, your specific losses, and therefore gives you control. In this process, you begin to not only craft an understanding of the meaning of this change to your own individual life, but you most significantly begin to recognise how this change affects you specifically. From such point, you can then map for yourself a way forward or what I call a map of progress to move you from where you are to where you need to be. This is of course primarily informed by your predefined reason.
Why is this map of progress important?
Every change brings about a new experience, whether good or bad. In dealing with change, we learn that the key concept for success is motion. Motion is what some would call action. The purpose of action is that it creates within us a dynamic energy or momentum that propels us forward from where we are, to where we need to be. It is action that creates the shift to our desired state of being.
So what then is the next step?
The next step is simple- action. We must each create for ourselves the said map of progress to address our individual needs and develop our personal path of success. We can do this by simply asking and answering a few questions. In a journal or notebook, write down your answers in full detail. Create a table for questions 1 and 2 below.
1. What have I lost from this situation? Is it time? Money or business? Skills? The quality of relationships? Or maybe my health? What is my key problem where I am sitting? Be as detailed as possible in your answer. This helps you fully comprehend your regression with respect to where you were before.
2. What have I gained from this situation? Is it time? Money or business? Skills? The quality of relationships? Or maybe my health? What has been of benefit for me in this period? This also helps you to have a complete recognition of your progression from where you started.
3. For each of the answers you draw on each side of the table, ask yourself this- in 3 years time, would it matter? This determines its overall purpose in your life path.
You may even assign weights out of 10 for each of your answers.
The reason for asking yourself the above is to do what businesses call a cost-benefit analysis, that is, what you have lost vis-à-vis what you have gained, and subsequently realise the weight of what has been gained versus what has been lost. This may seem too complex to imagine so here is an example-
Assuming you lost money from your monthly income (or part of it), but have been able to work on your ideas for a business or even just spend time nursing your relationships, playing with your children, starting a garden or finally sticking to an exercise routine. What may matter most may be the new sustainable and long term gain as opposed to the short term loss. Over and above the gain of ‘being alive.’
Even so, for some, the above is not as simple. And this may be because of their individual reason and specific circumstances. As such, the final two (2) questions below become fundamental to their map of progress to guarantee short term gains or to warrant motion-
4. Are there existing opportunities or routes I can explore where I am in the short term? And in the long term?
5. How do I go about doing that? Detail each step- no step is too small for detail.
In answering the above, we remove ourselves from the greater problem and draw focus to our own specific environments, needs and desires. In this way, we create a map of progress which allows us to take each step towards our own success, no matter how small.
At the very least, we ensure that we are constantly moving forward.
At the end of it all, we now know for sure that life can never be what it used to be. So we must remember that only we can craft our own realities and define our own normal.
AT THE END OF THE DAY, YOU ONLY HAVE CONTROL OVER YOUR OWN LIFE.
Hi. I am Shaka, and I am a Transformational Life Coach.
And I DARE YOU TO CHANGE YOUR INNER GAME.
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